Support for Bisexual Survivors


We will be using the term “bisexual” as an umbrella term used to refer to sexual or romantic attraction to more than one gender. This is an umbrella term that includes many sexual orientations including bisexual, pansexual, queer, fluid, and more.   


Statistics on Bisexual Survivors 


Barriers Faced by Bisexual Survivors 

Higher rates of sexual and domestic violence are likely due to the heightened stigma, objectification, and community isolation that the bisexual community experiences.   

  • Bisexual people are less likely to be out to important people in their lives and are therefore less likely to have community support to turn to when experiencing sexual or domestic violence. 
  • There are stereotypes and beliefs about bisexual people that they will never be satisfied in relationships or that they will leave a partner to “become gay” or “become straight”. Abusive partners may use this myth to justify feelings of jealousy and accusations of cheating or potential unfaithfulness. This can manifest in abusive partners controlling who the survivor sees, to justify surveillance or stalking behaviors, or not allowing a survivor to see certain friends without the abuser present. Often jealousy is a manifestation of abusive partners wanting power and control over their partner.  
  • Bisexual survivors are often not receiving LGBTQ+ inclusive survivor support services or medical care and may not feel safe or comfortable sharing their identity because of heteronormative assumptions that their providers make about their identity. 
  • Stereotypes about bisexual women being hypersexual and ready for sex all the time, with anyone can be incredibly damaging. The objectification and sexualization of an identity can lead to a view that bisexual women are sexual objects, removing expectations of consent from bisexual women. This can lead to higher rates of sexual assault and sexual harassment against bisexual women. It also can lead to victim blaming attitudes towards bisexual women who are seen as inherently sexual. It’s critical to note here how this hyper-sexualization intersects with the fetishization of Asian, Black, and Latine women. This can include calling people exotic, desiring them for their race, and believing that someone’s race is inherently sexual. This is compounded with objectification and fetishization of bisexual women, and puts bisexual women of color at increased risk. 
  • Corrective assault is sexual violence perpetrated against individuals with the intention to “make them straight”. This type of violence is disproportionately targeted towards bisexual women. This behavior is normalized with myths and comments such as “you just haven’t met the right man yet”. While these comments minimize the situation with a superficial reading of a person’s identity, they are also harmful in that they convey the message that there is a problem with the way person is and that the solution is to make them have sex with the right person. 
  • There is less research done on the experiences or BIPOC bisexual survivors, particularly bisexual Native American survivors and bisexual survivors from the Asian diaspora. The CDC’s National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey is one of the largest national studies done on intimate partner violence and is widely used and referenced. However, the CDC report itself names that they had insufficient date from BIPOC LGBTQ+ survivors to draw findings for their research. This underreporting is likely due to a lack of trust in the government and limitations of recruitment strategies specific to BIPOC LGBTQ+ survivors. 


Reminders and Affirmations Bisexual Survivors 

  • The stereotype that bisexual people are more likely to cheat is a harmful myth. Bisexual people are not more likely to cheat than anyone else. 
  • Bisexuality is a valid and real part of your identity, and not the result of trauma. Bisexual survivors often face false stereotypes that they are bisexual because of the assault or abuse. Their bisexuality is seen as not real or valid but the result of something someone did to them. This can be a particularly painful statement because it gives the power, control, and responsibility of someone’s core identity to the person that harmed them. And it treats survivors not as experts on their own life experiences but as confused products of their trauma. 
  • If you realized that you were bisexual as a part of your healing process, that is a beautiful and powerful testament to you understanding yourself more deeply. Survivors, in their healing process, often get a chance to get more in touch with themselves and their own wants, desires, and identity. Understanding new parts of their sexual orientation can therefore be a result of the work that they have put into their healing. 
  • You don’t need to be out to everyone in your life for your bisexuality to be valid. You don’t owe anyone being out, especially if there are people in your life who have shown that they don’t respect your sexual orientation. 
  • Bisexual people of color are beautiful and powerful. No matter your race, your sexual identity is valid. 
  • Bisexuality is valid and real no matter the gender of that person’s past or present partners. You are believed, seen, and deserving of community.  


Resources

The Anti-Violence Project has a 24-hour hotline for LGBTQ+ survivors to call for confidential support: 212-714-1141  

The Bisexual Resource Center works to connect the bi+ community and help its members thrive through resources support, and celebration. 

Bi Surviors Network is a group of bisexual survivors facilitating peer-led, online support groups for survivors of sexual and/or domestic violence and abuse. 

You can find your local LGBTQ+ center and find resources, social groups, and support groups for both the broader LGBTQ+ community and those specific to the bisexual community by going to: www.lgbtqcenters.org/LGBTCenter