We will be using the term “polyamory” as an umbrella term used to refer to the practice or capacity of having romantic or intimate relationships with more than one person at a time, with the consent of everyone involved. This is an umbrella term that includes many forms of consensual non-monogamy, including relationship anarchy, open relationships, ethical non-monogamy, hierarchical and non-hierarchical polyamory, and more. In consensual polyamory, everyone knows that there are other partners and each person gets to decide their involvement in the relationships.

• There is limited data on LGBTQ+ polyamorous survivors however  one study found about 4-5% of Americans currently identify as consensually non-monogamous   
• In terms of  lifetime prevalence 1 in 5 people have participated in a consensually non-monogamous relationship  
• This is just as common as owning a cat or speaking a language other than English in a US household 
• Lesbian, gay, and bisexual people were  more likely to report previous engagement in polyamory. Additionally, LGB people were twice as likely to report desire of engagement in polyamory  
• Research on polyamorous survivors, especially those who are BIPOC, trans, disabled, or otherwise multiply marginalized, remains extremely limited. This invisibility in data leads to gaps in policy, prevention efforts, and services. It also reflects systemic barriers to participation in research, such as mistrust in institutions, lack of outreach to polyamorous communities, or narrow definitions of family and relationship in study design. 
• Consensually non-monogamous individuals were found more likely to report experiencing emotional abuse, physical abuse, and sexual assault within the past 12 months than monogamous individuals in  one recent study published in Sexual and Relationship Therapy Journal. 
• Consensually non-monogamous individuals reported higher rates of depression and anxiety than monogamous individuals in   that same study. 

Polyamorous survivors of domestic or sexual violence face unique barriers shaped by stigma, misinformation, and isolation. While there is limited research specifically on polyamorous people and rates of intimate partner violence, existing studies and community accounts suggest that the social marginalization of polyamorous individuals contributes to increased vulnerability and difficulty accessing support. 

• Polyamorous people often face heightened stigma and misunderstanding about the legitimacy and morality of their relationships. This can lead to fear of disclosing relationship structures to family, employers, healthcare providers, or service agencies, especially in crisis situations. Without being “out,” polyamorous survivors may have limited access to community-based support or may fear being judged, blamed, or disbelieved by providers and support systems. 
• Stereotypes about polyamory such as the belief that it’s inherently unstable, rooted in sexual impulsivity, or a form of cheating can be used by abusive partners to isolate survivors, control their other relationships, or justify jealousy and possessiveness. These behaviors are often framed as “reasonable” jealousy but are in fact methods of gaining power and control. 
• An abusive partner may use experience and length of time within polyamorous communities to invalidate the feelings and needs of folks who may be newer to the community. 
• Survivors may face dismissal or disbelief when seeking help, especially from providers unfamiliar with or biased against non-monogamous relationships. A survivor may be told their relationship is “too complicated,” “unrealistic,” or “the reason” for the abuse they are experiencing. This can lead to self-blame. It can also lead to service providers failing to recognize abusive dynamics when multiple partners are involved. 
• Legal and institutional systems often assume monogamous, nuclear family models. This can leave polyamorous survivors unprotected; for example in housing situations where non-traditional families face discrimination.  
• In many states, in order for a third person to obtain parental rights, one of the current legal guardians has to surrender their rights. Additionally, parental rights have been revoked because of the parent being polyamorous and polyamory is wrongly used to question someone’s fitness as a parent. 
• Medical professionals and survivor services may also lack training in affirming care for polyamorous individuals. Survivors might feel unsafe disclosing their relationship structures out of fear that it will lead to pathologizing, shaming, or outright refusal of care. This barrier is compounded for polyamorous people who are also LGBTQ+, disabled, BIPOC, or part of other marginalized communities. 
• Polyamorous women, especially women of color, often face sexualization and objectification rooted in stereotypes that polyamory is “just about sex.” These myths can contribute to rape culture, including the false belief that polyamorous people are always consenting or “asking for it,” and lead to increased rates of sexual harassment or assault. When survivors do come forward, they may be met with victim-blaming responses that question their relationships instead of supporting their safety. 
• Bisexuality is sometimes conflated with polyamory, however; they are two different entities. Bisexual people can be polyamorous, but not all are. Additionally, not all people who are in a polyamorous relationship identify as bisexual. Both identities are valid and deserve respect.   

• The stereotype that polyamorous people are more likely to be unfaithful or incapable of commitment is a harmful myth. Polyamory is based on consent, communication, and honesty which are values that directly oppose cheating or betrayal. Abuse is about power and control, not relationship structure. 
• Being polyamorous is a valid and meaningful part of your identity, and not the result of trauma. Survivors are sometimes told that their desire for multiple loving connections is a sign of confusion, brokenness, or instability. This is a deeply invalidating narrative that wrongly attributes your identity to harm rather than recognizing your agency and sense of your own self. 
• If you discovered or embraced your polyamorous identity as part of your healing journey, that is something to honor. Survivors often reconnect with their needs, boundaries, and desires through healing, including rethinking how they want to build relationships. Your identity is not a symptom; it is a reflection of your growth, self-awareness, and truth. 
• You do not need to be out as polyamorous to everyone in your life in order for your identity to be valid. You do not owe your truth to people who haven’t earned your trust or respect. Choosing who to share with is a deeply personal and powerful act of self-protection. 
• Polyamorous people of color are powerful, whole, and deserving of safety and love. Your identities do not conflict, they exist together in you and are worthy of respect. 
• Your relationships, your boundaries, your capacity to love are all real and valid, no matter how many partners you have, or what others assume about you. You are not “too much.” You are not “asking for it.” You are not to blame. 
• You are seen. You are believed. You are deserving of safety, support, and community exactly as you are. 

The  Anti-Violence Project has a 24-hour hotline for LGBTQ+ survivors to call for confidential support: 212-714-1141  

The Network la Red is a survivor-led, social justice organization that works to end partner abuse in LGBTQ+, kink, and polyamorous communities. Rooted in anti-oppression principles, their work aims to create a world where all people are free from oppression. They work to strengthen our communities through organizing, education, and the provision of support services. 

You can find your local LGBTQ+ center and find resources, social groups, and support groups for both the broader LGBTQ+ community and those specific to the bisexual community by going to:  www.lgbtqcenters.org/LGBTCenter